Reflections on my son’s short life – 18 years on

In hospital with my premature baby son…

…it was the middle of the night and I had got up to go to the toilet, on my return I found a woman sitting beside my bed. I quickly assessed that she was a doctor and not a nurse and I thought to myself, this must be serious. She went on to tell me that my son’s breathing had relapsed due to his under-developed lungs, but that he was stable and if I wished, I could see him.

I considered that this and several other incidents were coincidences but I soon learnt to trust the invisible thread that exists between mother and baby.

My son died after being on this earth for 2 months.  I call this time with us “midwife of my soul”

Through this painful experience I learnt the difference between deep transpersonal connection,qi, or what is generally known as “it”. And when an aspect of my personality drives anxiety and worry this will get in the way of the deeper connection that exists between mother and baby, life to life.

Run by Billie Clare, Derbyshire Counselling provides counselling for adults and children in Derby and in Matlock.

Billie Clare is a BACP (senior) accredited counsellor. She has been a counsellor for over 25 years; her approach is engaging, warm and respectful.

Rose – a symbol of love

It appeared that the cold winter had killed the tall elegant rose which had been  growing in my flourishing herb flower bed.   I decided to cut the old wood down almost to its base.

From the old base new green shoots have now sprung.

This has led me to reflect on how in relationships that have lasted a long time, a trauma or  shock can strike it down, but if we wait and give time to the relationship, new shoots appear.

Rose is a symbol of love.

 
Run by Billie Clare, Derbyshire Counselling provides counselling for adults and children in Derby and in Matlock.

Billie Clare is a BACP (senior) accredited counsellor. She  has been a counsellor for over 25 years; her approach is engaging, warm and respectful.

Helping my clients find their seed of life…..

At the age of 8 I watched – sitting with my parents – an iconic BBC documentary on homelessness called Cathy Come Home. I was shocked to see that fathers were housed in different hostels, separated from their wives and children. This led to the irretrievable breakdown of the family and marriage. I thought this should never happen. I told myself “when I grow up I would make a difference.”

This documentary spoke to the seed of my being and woke it up. My parents through their compassion and responsibility to, and for others, provided the fertile ground for the seed to grow.

During my teens I thought I would end up managing a large charity, such as the homeless charity, Shelter, however due to my difficulties with exams, followed by other personal circumstances, this wasn’t the direction I took.

I now know that one person can make a difference. My way of being on this earth is to offer other ways and means to find their seed. To nourish it. To enable them to become aware of the blockages which stand in their way. In this process we can open pathways around or through the blockages.

 
Run by Billie Clare, Derbyshire Counselling provides counselling for adults and children in Derby and in Matlock.

Billie Clare is a BACP (senior) accredited counsellor. She has been a counsellor for over 25 years; her approach is engaging, warm and respectful.