Reflections on my son’s short life – 18 years on

In hospital with my premature baby son…

…it was the middle of the night and I had got up to go to the toilet, on my return I found a woman sitting beside my bed. I quickly assessed that she was a doctor and not a nurse and I thought to myself, this must be serious. She went on to tell me that my son’s breathing had relapsed due to his under-developed lungs, but that he was stable and if I wished, I could see him.

I considered that this and several other incidents were coincidences but I soon learnt to trust the invisible thread that exists between mother and baby.

My son died after being on this earth for 2 months.  I call this time with us “midwife of my soul”

Through this painful experience I learnt the difference between deep transpersonal connection,qi, or what is generally known as “it”. And when an aspect of my personality drives anxiety and worry this will get in the way of the deeper connection that exists between mother and baby, life to life.

Run by Billie Clare, Derbyshire Counselling provides counselling for adults and children in Derby and in Matlock.

Billie Clare is a BACP (senior) accredited counsellor. She has been a counsellor for over 25 years; her approach is engaging, warm and respectful.

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